Resources & Updates
The Truest Form of Love: Marriage as an Act of Sacrifice
Guest Author
Apr 13, 2024
*You can watch the full session recording above or download the transcript at the bottom of this post.
For those who remember the cult classic *The Princess Bride*, one of the most memorable scenes is the wedding where the priest humorously declares, "Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam.” These lines, comedic as they are, hint at profound truths about the ideal of marriage.
Christian author Ingrid Tro once remarked, “There’s only one thing harder than living alone, and that is to live with another person.” And comedian Chris Rock lightens this truth by noting, “Many girls marry men just like their fathers, which may explain why so many mothers cry at weddings.” Ruth Bell Graham adds deep wisdom by saying, “A good marriage is the union of two forgivers.”
Through these perspectives, one can understand that marriage, while often seen through a romantic lens, is deeply grounded in the concept of mutual sacrifice and selflessness. Another insightful saying goes, “What you want in a spouse is one whose life's mission is to make you great and one who wants to make their life’s mission to make you great as well.”
Marriage as a Form of "Death"
The idea of marriage as "death" might sound grave, but not in the morbid sense. Rather, it signifies dying to one's selfish desires and living for the greater glory of God by serving the other. This concept, rooted in Christian scripture, particularly Mark 8:31-37, sheds light on the essence of a Christ-centered marriage.
In Mark 8, Jesus predicts His suffering and death to His disciples, emphasizing that the act of following Him necessitates self-denial and taking up one's cross. This idea of self-sacrifice extends to marriage, where the pursuit is not self-preservation but living selflessly for the spouse's benefit.
The High Call of Marriage
The call to marriage aligns with what it means to follow Christ. When Jesus foretells His suffering and death, He dismantles Peter’s understanding of the Messiah as a triumphant figure devoid of suffering. The need for the Messiah to suffer, die, and rise again signifies a path of sacrificial love—a model for marital relationships.
Jesus instructs that to truly gain life, one must be willing to lose it for His sake and the gospel. This principle profoundly applies to marriage: the true essence and joy of marriage lie in self-sacrifice and service to one's spouse.
Marriage: A Means to God’s End
Marriage should not be perceived as the ultimate end but as a means to God's greater purpose. If viewed as the ultimate goal, couples may mistakenly believe their spouse should fulfill all their needs. Instead, marriage is about meeting the needs of the other, reflecting the self-sacrificial love Christ exemplifies.
The Covenant of Companionship
In Genesis 1:26-28, God creates humanity in His image, endowing them with dominion over creation. The essence of being made in God’s image includes the capacity for relationship—exemplified in the Trinity, where Father, Son, and Holy Spirit exist in a perfect relationship of mutual love and service.
The narrative in Genesis 2 further illustrates that being alone was "not good" because Adam had no counterpart to reflect God’s relational nature. Thus, God created Eve as a companion for mutual reflection and intimate companionship.
Unity and Companionship
The institution of marriage, illustrated in Genesis 2:24, involves a covenantal pledge—leaving one’s family to become one with a spouse. This covenant is not based on fleeting emotions but on a permanent promise of companionship and mutual support.
Marriage as a mirror reveals both spouses' flaws, driving them toward Christ’s redemptive work. This mutual vulnerability demands honesty, forgiveness, and continual repentance.
Love as Sacrifice
Ephesians 5 elaborates on marriage by likening it to the relationship between Christ and the Church. Here, love is depicted as sacrificial and self-giving. Just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it, spouses are called to love each other sacrificially.
Marriage, therefore, should reflect the gospel. It is a divine picture of Christ's covenant love for His Church, demanding that each partner lives redemptively with the other.
Living as God’s Ambassadors
In marriage, spouses are called to be ambassadors for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20), reflecting His love and grace in their relationship. This means prioritizing their marriage above all other relationships and engaging in selfless, God-centered love.
Conclusion: A Secure Identity in Christ
Ultimately, a fulfilling marriage is grounded in finding one's identity in Christ. Secure in His love, spouses are free to give rather than constantly seek to receive. Jesus's sacrificial love provides the foundation for this secure identity, enabling spouses to love each other genuinely and selflessly.
Marriage, then, is a profound journey of mutual sacrifice, continual repentance, and unwavering commitment. Through this lens, marriage truly becomes an opportunity to glorify God, reflecting His love and devotion.